About Me

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I'm 25 and clueless, trying to find my way through a world that is becoming more and more complicated. I'm a single mommy, learning the ropes of parenthood and adulthood and trying not to mess my child up too bad in the process. I moved to Kansas almost 5 years ago from Ohio, where I currently live with my beautiful 5 year old daughter, and our dachshund Oscar. I'm a shy person on the outside, but on the inside I'm a total weirdo. I always speak before I think, (yeah, read that one again) I dance like an epileptic, and I laugh at myself constantly. I love fart jokes and dirty language...who doesn't? And if you're one of those people that don't...well then, fuck you. *fart*

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Shitload of Post-Its and My Little Desk Toilet

I have anxiety. Tons of it, shitloads of it....more than one person could ever need. You know what stage fright (or any kind of nervousness) feels like? Yeah? Well, I feel that every single day. All the time. Some days are worse than others, I've actually had panic attacks so bad that I couldn't stop crying...or even catch my breath. My chest tightens and my throat closes and it feels like I'm drowning and all I can do is just freak out more and more until I have no choice but to take a pill to stop it. So....it's shitty. Super shitty. But most days aren't like that. I can usually talk myself down (I have a few little mental tricks) and keep my sanity for the most part.

One of the things I like to do to calm my mind is organize things. All this backstory is a lead into the fact that I fucking LOVE post-its. I bow down to their superior sticky/noteyness. I am the queen of post-its, I use them everywhere. I even have a post-it app on my smartphone. I also have one on my bathroom mirror that my mother left for me the last time she visited that says "have a great day!! (ridiculously smiley face)". I love it. I look at it every morning. But since it's no longer sticky, and slowly getting covered in hairspray and dust, it'll have to be taken down soon. Dammit.

In case you don't believe me, here's some proof:

Exhibit A: My desk at work.
I know what you're thinking (besides "holy shit this girl has problems"); and yes, I always need to have more than one color choice. It wouldn't be nearly as pretty if they were all that ugly piss-yellow color. But it gets better. I like to leave notes for myself that will help my disposition, should I happen to be in a crazy-ish mood. And they truly do help. You know what they say: "If you can't laugh at yourself....then you're an asshole." Or something like that. Whatever.

Exhibit B: My favorite thing on my desk.

Not only is it a note to myself that literally spells out how awesome I am....but it's held up by a little foam toilet. How fucking cool is that?! I got it at some food expo years ago. (Yeah, idk why there was a booth at a food show that was giving away these things either...but hey, who cares? It's a tiny toilet I can keep on my desk!)

Also I thought I'd include this picture of my desk chair....and "The Mysterious Stains":

I don't know when these weird ass stains appeared on the seat of my chair, but I'm assuming it happened when someone else was sitting there. Because I would remember if I shat myself in my office chair. And the worst part is that when someone else needs to use it (like the dude that fixes our computers and shit)..I know they're thinking: "Eww.. dude, I so don't wanna sit in that shit!" And then I'm embarassed. But I swear these stains aren't from me. Unless they're some kind of residual fart stains. Because I fart in this chair a lot. lol - What? It's not like I share an office with anyone. And the windows are usually open. Usually. :o)


  1. Yeah, just use tape to put that post-it that your mom left you back on the mirror...I SO get post-its, still have one from Taylor that has stick people doing the Macarena :>)

  2. Oh, yeah, and how cool is it that you get to throw them out when you're "done" with that particular task...it's like a sticky note celebration..."take that you little post-it thing?"

  3. Yeah, I've been adding new pieces of tape for awhile now. I think I'll just ask her to write me a new one when I visit this summer.

  4. Anyone with an affection for Post-It Notes will enjoy this creative work. The source page is no longer there, but if you click the image in the blog post you can see the Post-It Note portrait enlarged. Yay!