About Me

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I'm 25 and clueless, trying to find my way through a world that is becoming more and more complicated. I'm a single mommy, learning the ropes of parenthood and adulthood and trying not to mess my child up too bad in the process. I moved to Kansas almost 5 years ago from Ohio, where I currently live with my beautiful 5 year old daughter, and our dachshund Oscar. I'm a shy person on the outside, but on the inside I'm a total weirdo. I always speak before I think, (yeah, read that one again) I dance like an epileptic, and I laugh at myself constantly. I love fart jokes and dirty language...who doesn't? And if you're one of those people that don't...well then, fuck you. *fart*

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I Would Be The Coolest Vampire EVER.

I've always hated the way I look when I smile. I have a freakishly wide, toothy smile - but my eyes always squint up all tiny and weird. Sometimes it almost looks like they disappeared off my face. I also have these really sharp teeth, I call them "fangs", and I think that's a pretty accurate description. Every time I smile at someone, I get really self conscious. This is why:

This is what people really see when I smile (Ok, so I exaggerated a little when I took this picture):

And this is what I think people are seeing:

Ok, so maybe this is more like me after I drink a Cherry Limeade Crystal Light. That shit is delicious, but it always makes my mouth red so I look like a crazy vampire. On second thought, maybe that's not so bad. I mean, maybe it's just me, but I make one helluva sexy vampire. That pussy Edward wouldn't have shit on me.


  1. you are a very funny girl! And I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm your mom...I never thought of you as a vampire, and I'd love to have a toothy smile, rather than a gummy one that I have....

  2. lol thanks mom. your comments make me happy :)...since I have all of one follower. And that follower is me. lol